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Funny sewage emails - You can't make them up!

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Snippets from last month's emails to WTE Ltd:

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared."

"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink"

"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces."

"Our septic tank has backed up and our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it."

"Please send a man with a big digger to do the job and satisfy my wife"

" My sewage plant is in the shrubbery, but my bush is really overgrown round the front. Will this stop air getting to it and make it smell?"

"My drains at the back are broken and my back passage has fungus growing all over it"

"Dear James, How are you. Why do you answer my questions?"

Please read the 'comment' below as their email snippets are even better than ours!!

Apologies to the people who sent these - we are laughing with you, not at you.

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  1. Once again, rainy season has arrived in Thailand. The skies fill with ominous, dark clouds and once the wind picks up you know you have just a few minutes in which to seek shelter, otherwise you will be drenched by the downpour.

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  2. We get the same as well. you would think they would read them first but they do put a smile on my face.

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  3. Taunton Lettings

    Our letting agency gets some perlers too: "It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow." "Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence." "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall" "Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant" "I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen..." "The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more." "The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous" "I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night." "This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2." "50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy" People are amazing!!

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