The lighter side of SEWAGE and Septic tanks!

If your'e looking for the page that gives some light 'relief' from sewage treatment information, you have found it. Bookmark and Share

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  1. A peeping Tom hid in a park's septic tank to watch women using the toilet but was discovered when he started coughing.

    Alleged pervert Kenneth Enslow, 52, gave himself away as a mother and her 7-year-old daughter went to use the outhouse style toilet at White Water Park near Tulsa, Oklahoma at 5 p.m. Sunday, 7th July 2013.

    The pair allegedly looked down the toilet bowl and saw him - covered from head to foot in excrement - looking up at them. A spokesman said that he had been hiding in the tank for some time.

    They called the police who, due to his large size, used ropes to haul him out.  Fire crews then hosed him down and he was arrested and charged with being a 'peeping tom'.

    WTE says: We wonder what made him cough???? It is certainly a 'Septic tank problem' we have never had to deal with!!

  2. Helicopter Sewage Mistake

    29 Firefighters in rural Australia were tackling a blaze in New South Wales when a water-bombing helicopter decided to help them out. It unleashed tonnes of water over the firefighters from above, but the firemen were NOT happy. The helicopter pilot was supposed to pick up fresh water from a water works, but had mistakenly collected the liquid from a sewage treatment works instead.

    The Rural Fire Service spokesman said: "All 29 firefighters on the fireground and their equipment were immediately withdrawn and decontaminated by Fire and Rescue. The Australian Workers Union is currently demanding the incident to be investigated.

    WTE Ltd Says: "Should have gone to SpecSavers"

  3. Snippets from last month's emails to WTE Ltd:

    "The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared."

    "Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink"

    "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces."

    "Our septic tank has backed up and our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it."

    "Please send a man with a big digger to do the job and satisfy my wife"

    " My sewage plant is in the shrubbery, but my bush is really overgrown round the front. Will this stop air getting to it and make it smell?"

    "My drains at the back are broken and my back passage has fungus growing all over it"

    "Dear James, How are you. Why do you answer my questions?"

    Please read the 'comment' below as their email snippets are even better than ours!!

    Apologies to the people who sent these - we are laughing with you, not at you.
  4. EU crematorium corpse 'dissolve and flush’ proposal

    The EU is currently investigating a proposal, which would allow undertakers to dissolve deadPour your relatives down the toilet bodies and flush them into the sewerage system.  This proposal has come from the Flemish Association of Undertakers as a way of cutting down on the amount of land taken up by burials.

    The plans would see people’s deceased loved ones being placed in containers containing caustic salts and water. These containers would then be pressurised and some time later the liquid and mineral ash left over could be flushed into the sewerage system.

    Yes, we are talking about dissolving the dead and flushing them down the loo. WTE Ltd. is appalled that the European Commission is even looking into this shameful, polluting and disrespectful suggestion.

    It is the European Parliament that wants dissolving and flushing down the sewers.

    Your comments please!

    UPDATE 28TH June 2012 - WE CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! We thought that the above post was ludicrous, but we have just been asked to design a treatment system for a 'CREMATORIUM' that actually does this! They dissolve the bodies in caustic soda  and they want WTE Ltd. to design treatment for the resulting liquid before discharge to watercourse!! Apparently, all the solids that are left are a few fragments of bone, teeth, etc to be screened out and put in the urn! What happens in YOUR local 'Crematorium'?? You know what they say, "Where there is smoke there is fire" but what if there isn't any smoke???? Your comments please!


    UPDATE 04/04/2013 Just been asked to quote for ANOTHER ONE!!!! We are NOT interested. Something should be done about this!!!

  5. The new City Hall building in the Phoenix suburb of Chandler, Arizona comes with something that has a lot of people wondering who does it. The Restroom signs says 'Do not drink out of the urinals and toilets'.

    Now I have seen my dog drink out of the toilet, but then the sign wouldn't be of any use to him as he can't read.

    Just how thirsty would you have to be to consider such a thing? MayDrinking out of the toiletbe it is common practise in America - which could explain the fact that they use more breath fresheners and have their teeth whitened more than any other Nation?

    As for the staff at WTE, we will resist temptation and stick to tap water - well, all except for Maureen (what is that slurping sound?) - she always was adventurous!

  6. A Chinese man has been rescued after two days stuck up to his neck in a toilet cesspit.

    The man was only discovered when a passerby walked into the outside toilet and heard his cries.

    The passerby called emergency services after trying unsuccessfully to free the trapped man.

    Firefighters dropped a ladder into the cesspit in Wuyuan County, Inner Mongolia, and the man finally escaped.

    He was so weak after two days underground that it took him 20 minutes to climb up the ladder.

    Firefighters said the man was not seriously hurt by his ordeal - but was in dire need of a wash.

    "As soon as he came out, he rushed to a nearby pond to have a bath," said one fireman.

    The man said he slipped while using the outhouse toilet hole two days ago, and slipped into the pit below.

    Nobody had used the toilet in the mean time so he was not discovered - even though his family had reported him missing.

    News from 'Orange News'

  7. The Sugagabes' Brit Award is kept by Heidi Range above her toilet. Brit Award kept in toilet

    The singer said that fiancé Dave Berry came up with the idea.
    "I've got the award and Dave put it above the toilet in my bathroom," she told Alex and Lucy on Key 103's IN:Demand.

    "My mum went absolutely mad when she came down. She said, 'You don't put that on there. You don't put your Brit on the toilet'.

    "I want everyone to see it, but Dave was like, 'They will - everyone goes to the loo when they come round"
    (Coutesy of 'Digital Spy')
    What a coincidence! - I would keep all my Sugababes CD's down the toilet as well!
  8. MPS and peers had a sewage crisis yesterday - when the Houses of Parliament ran out of LOO ROLLS.

    Politicians were flushed with 'a motion' as it was discovered that there was hardly any toilet paper left for more than 13,300 Parliamentary staff.

    Insiders blamed the KGB - no, not the Russians, but KGB Cleaning Suppliers who operate a "just-in-time" supply policy.

    One insider said: "Cleaners have been complaining about a shortage of loo roll for days. It's all come to a head today. There are loads of toilets without a scrap of paper."
    Last night an emergency order was rushed in to relieve MPs and peers.
    Perhaps they could have used some of the abundance of MP's expense claim forms Gordon Brown Loo Roll, or how about installing this Gordon Brown '50 Million Pound Note' loo roll instead?
    Trust the KGB to be behind it all!
  9. To mark 'World Toilet Day' - (Yes, there is one) - the charity CORD - based in New Street, Leamington - launched the world’s first toilet twinning project, allowing you to link your loo with its very own twin toilet in the African bush.
    You twin your toilet with a new loo 4,000 miles away in Burundi and in return for your sponsorship you get a certificate with a picture of your twinned toilet and its exact co-ordinates so you can see it for yourself on Google Earth - How Exciting!!  Let's hope that the picture is of the OUTSIDE of the toilet!
    It could make a wonderfully novel Christmas gift for the man who has everything.
    Richard Dickson, CORD’s head of supporter relations, said: “It’s a fun way of tackling a very serious issue".  Sewage has never been such fun!
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  10.   A first edition of Charles Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species' has First Edition On the Origin of Species been sold at Christie's.

    The book, which was bought about 40 years ago in a West Country shop for a few shillings, made £103,250 in the auction in November 2009.

    The book has been kept on a shelf in a lavatory at the owner's family home in Oxfordshire as part of the 'Loo Literature'. <BLOG_BREAK>

    Just 1,250 copies of the work were produced in 1859 and the book was sold exactly 150 years to the day after its first publication.

    Christie's auction house said the son-in-law of the current owner was at a Darwin exhibition and recognised a picture of the book's spine.

    Margaret Ford, head of books and manuscripts at Christie's, said the person who bought the book may not have realised its value.

    She said: "It's incredibly important. He knew it [the book] was textually important.

    "He maybe did not know how much of a bargain he was getting."

    The revolutionary scientific work, which has the full title On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, has the original publisher's green cloth cover and gilt-decorated spine.

    It is described by Christie's as "lightly bumped" around the corners.
    What a good job no-one ever ran out of toilet paper!!!
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  11. A newborn baby delivered in a train lavatory has survived falling through the bottom of the toilet of a moving train. Indian train toilet<BLOG_BREAK>







    The incident occurred on the West Bengal Tata-Chapra Express in India, where the sewage system flushes straight through to the tracks belo..


    Passengers watched 28-year-old Rinky Debi Ray jump from the carriage in an attempt to rescue her child, which she discovered lying unharmed on the track.


    The Daily Telegraph reported Mrs Ray as explaining she had been travelling to her parents home in Bihar, where she was planning to deliver her second child,  with her husband Bhola and their four-year-old daughter.


    When she began to feel a sharp ache in her abdomen, she headed for the lavatory hoping to relieve the pain. Instead she suddenly gave birth. The baby fell into the lavatory bowl and out on to the tracks. 


    Mrs Ray's husband saw his wife jump off the carriage and pulled the emergency cord. The train came to a halt just over a mile further down the line. "We got off the train and started looking for my wife," he said. "After an hour we found Rinku sitting beside the track with the baby in her lap." 


    His wife and new baby were transferred to Purelia district hospital where both are now recovering from their ordeal.   

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  12. Whilst driving over a bridge, a tour bus allegedly carrying the members of the 'Dave Matthews Band' dumped its cassette toilet  <BLOG_BREAK>waste into the Chicago river, thinking 'that was the end of that!'. Unfortunately, the human waste dropped all over a tourist enjoying a scenic trip on a boat below.  A lawsuit has been filed by the city of Chicago for polluting the water.
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  13. A portable septic tank has been invented by a German company for women to carry in their handbags - as if they aren't full enough already. LadyBag mobile toilet<BLOG_BREAK>
    Inventors of the 'LadyBag' are proud to announce that women will no longer have to queue for the loo - instead they can pee in a bag.
    The plastic bag  contains special urine-absorbing granules which solidify on contact with the urine and form a firm gel.
    Already, 20,000 of the £11 ONE USE ONLY bags ( we can't stress that enough!) have been sold online.
    A LadyBag spokesperson said: "You can use LadyBag while standing, sitting or squatting.
    The design of the oval opening is perfect for female anatomy and assures safe and hygienic use.
    The super-absorbers, special granules within quickly absorb the urine and trap it inside."
    WTE comments:-
    The question is - where do you do it - at the bus stop, in the park and what do you do with it then??
    Here at WTE, we would rather find a wood, a hedge, or ANYTHING rather than carry P_ _S around in our handbags.  If the place is discreet enough to use the Ladybag, it is discreet enough to have a real pee and as for paying £11.00 a time - how much is a good bottle of 'Sancerre'?!
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    Comments please
  14. Ipswich Woman, 67, stuck in toilet for a week.

    A man who came to the aid of his  neighbour a week after she became trapped in her toilet says he wishes he could have helped sooner. <BLOG_BREAK>

    The 67-year-old Ipswich woman was wedged so badly - with her feet on either side of the toilet bowl and the door opening inwards - that she was unable to free herself and spent the week calling for help.

    It wasn't until Michael Hibberd was hanging out his washing at his home on Sunday morning that he heard her cries.

    "It seems a bit 21st century, how un-neighbourly we are, and I do feel bad in a way that I didn't hear her cry for help sooner, but I'm glad that I was in the right place at the right time and did hear her when I did."
    Sewage Treatment Plant from WTE
  15. The International Space Station appears to have major sanitation issues.  The main toilet has broken down, resulting in the lack of facilities for 13 astronauts, who have been advised by Mission Control to place an 'out of service' notice on the loo.  Fight Director Brian Smith told reporters "We don't yet know the extent of the problem"

    The toilet, a Russian-built unit that cost 19 million dollars, <BLOG_BREAK>has only been in Space Station Toilet for sewage disposal image service for a year and has already broken down once, requiring a replacement pump which was delivered by the shuttle Discovery.

    NASA has stated that if the toilet cannot be repaired, urine collection bags are available.
    ISS reidents are now using a back-up toilet in the Russian section of the space station, which is decent of them as a Russian cosmanaut complained earlier this year that he was not allowed to use the US toilet due to issues with costs.
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  16. This story came to light at a recent reunion dinner.
    During the second world war, in the East End of London, a man was trapped in the wreckage of his bomb-shattered house.  <BLOG_BREAK>Rescuers could hear someone laughing and digging finally revealed a little old man, sat on the toilet with tears of laughter rolling down his face.
    When asked what he was laughing at he replied "I just pulled the chain and the whole bleedin' house fell down!"
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  17. A Marshalltown woman may have never thought that her alleged first attempt to steal toilet paper could rob her of her freedom. <BLOG_BREAK>
    Suzanne Marie Butts has been accused of stealing at least three toilet paper rolls from the Marshall County Courthouse and if convicted could face three years in prison.

    According to courthouse workers, the disappearance of toilet paper had been going on for a long time and Butt was caught red-handed last week after an employee saw her whisking away with three rolls of two-ply hidden in her shirt.

    Although Butt should have faced a misdemeanor charge which carries a sentence of less than a year, authorities say her prior theft convictions intensify the graveness of charges against her.

    Butt may face up to three years in jail, one for each roll, if convicted.
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  18. Continental Airlines Inc. is offering a group of passengers special travel vouchers. The coupons are not, however, part of any kind of promotional strategy - they're compensation for what passengers endured on a Continental trans-Atlantic flight. <BLOG_BREAK>

    Things went wrong on Flight 71 right from the beginning when it took off June 13 from Amsterdam bound for Newark, N.J. The pilot decided to land the plane in Shannon, Ireland, after passengers complained of blockages in the lavatories.

    The plane was sent for repairs and took off again the following day, but the problem only got worse as sewage from the lavatories overflowed the bowls and was soon flowing down the ailses.   Enraged passengers were further offended when flight attendants told them not to eat much.

    "I've never felt so offended in all my life. I felt like I had been physically abused and neglected. I was forced to sit next to human excrement for seven hours," a passenger told the Seattle's KING5 television station, " the smell was appalling"
    Another passenger said " it is the only flight I have been on where I did not want to stretch my legs!"

    The Houston, Texas-based airline blamed the blockage on latex gloves that had been flushed down the plane's toilet.